


You'll Never See Me Again

by Cour104



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Coma, Cussing, Death, Gen, Hospitals, I Apologize For This, Suicide, my friend made me do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24592156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cour104/pseuds/Cour104
Summary: One night, Iwaizumi finally snaps and demands Oikawa leave him alone. He didn't mean it, not really. It's only natural that friends fight occasionally, right? Oikawa will forgive and forget come Monday, right?Oikawa's always been dramatic, so when he promises that Iwaizumi would never see him again, he doesn't think much of it.Iwazumi has never regretted anything more.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	You'll Never See Me Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Luca404](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luca404/gifts).



> My friend gave me the idea for this so we should all blame her for the angst. I hope you enjoy it!

Iwaizumi tsked his tongue, peering up at the caged in clock mounted on the gym wall, its face protected from any stray balls. He read the time before his eyes settled on the gym doors. Oikawa was late.

It wasn't unusual for their captain to strut into the gym last, a few girls swarming at his sides, feeding his ever-growing ego.

Iwaizumi would always roll his eyes, launching a ball at the latecomer, who, to his annoyance, would usually catch it without even a second glance.

Oikawa would then bid farewell to his fan club — who'd congregate in the stands, being more of a distraction than anything else — and whine to Iwaizumi about how mean he was. If only Oikawa knew how much he held himself back.

Or, Iwaizumi supposed, he did now. He cringed at the memory, the way he had yelled, the way Oikawa had flinched away. 

He just... He  _ wouldn't stop following him _ . His voice grating at Iwaizumi's ears as he whined and groaned about one thing or another. Eventually... he snapped.

"I hate you!" Iwaizumi had yelled, turning on Oikawa and jabbing a finger into his chest. "You are  _ so _ annoying, always following me around." He pushed Oikawa away, crossing his arms. "Iwa-chan this, Iwa-chan that," his voice took on a mocking tone as his face screwed up in distaste. "Just fuck off, I never want to see you again!"

He watched, anger fading and regret bubbling inside him as Oikawa stared at him, his face painted with disbelief and eyes shining with unshed tears. He'd dipped his head, a small smile forming as he began to turn away.

"Okay," he muttered, his voice devoid of anger or hatred.

Iwaizumi wanted to stop him, ask why he wasn't yelling back, why he wasn't pushing to remain at his side. Oikawa never backed down from a challenge or shied away from a fight. But today he had nothing to say but, "You'll never see me again... Iwaizumi-san."

Iwaizumi sucked in a breath, taken aback by the cold formality in his friend's voice. He stepped forward, reaching out. 

"W-wait!" He called after him, but Oikawa didn't spare him even a glance as he continued walking away.

Iwaizumi should have stopped him.

Instead, he came to practice that Monday, three days later, with an apology already formed, just waiting on the tip of his tongue. Just waiting. Waiting...

Iwaizumi spared another glance at the clock, feeling agitation grow in his chest. He was expecting a pout. Maybe a few minutes of the silent treatment. But Oikawa never,  _ never _ , missed practice. Was he really willing to be that petty?

"Okay," their coach stood, clapping his hands to gather the team's attention. "Looks like we'll have to start practice without him. Everyone line up and begin stretching!"

"He's actually missing practice?" Kindaichi muttered at his side. "That's strange, do you think something happened?"

_ "How the hell would I know?"  _ Iwaizumi snapped, his voice coming out more tense than he had meant it to. Kindaichi looked taken aback.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought you might know something since you two are close."

"We aren't that close," he grumbled, his voice low, and Kindaichi took that as a cue to slip away, though he continued to send Iwaizumi sideways glances, his eyes full of confusion and concern.

They started practice and Iwaizumi couldn't stop his eyes from drifting to the gym doors in between plays, waiting for them to be thrown open, the Great King waltzing in and apologizing for his tardiness only to admit a half thought up excuse, like he saw a UFO, when they all knew he was more likely to have been kissing a girl behind a shelf of books in the library.

When the doors finally did open, however, it was their principal who came in, his expression stony.

"I apologize for interrupting practice, but coach Nobuteru, may I speak with you for a moment?" 

The two headed outside and players whispered among themselves, rumors forming until coach Sadayuki scolded them and demanded they continue practicing. Those rumors could never have been as awful as the truth Iwaizumi would soon learn.

When coach Nobuteru returned he was pale, his eyes far away. He shook his head at any questions. Now's not the time, he'd say. He ended practice early that day.

Iwaizumi thought now that it would have been better to find out then, surrounded by others, by teammates, rather than later on, a frantic Kindaichi pounding on his door.

_"What?"_ His voice came out harsh, though he'd regretted it the second he saw Kindaichi's panicked expression, the tears streaming down his face. "What?" He repeated, this time a whisper, his voice full of fear.

"It's Oikawa!"

"What'd he do this time?" Iwaizumi tried to keep his voice steady, tried to pretend this was like any other night.

He hoped Oikawa was just drunk in a gas station parking lot again. That he was in a fist fight with an underclassman. That he was at home drowning in ice cream and sobbing about his newest breakup. Any of his normal shenanigans that would warrant a teammate coming for his aid. Hell, Iwaizumi hoped Oikawa was in jail and needed to be bailed out. 

But when Kindaichi shook his head, covering his mouth to hold back the sobs, Iwaizumi's hope died.

"H-he's in the hospital. He jumped off a building. He's in a coma, in critical condition. They… They don't know if he's going to wake back up."

"Why…?" Iwaizumi started the question, then his brain flooded with the memories from the other night. How harsh he'd been. How awful. 

His ears began ringing, his breath catching in his chest as he realized that this was his fault. He'd pushed Oikawa.

"Iwaizumi!" Kindaichi caught him as he stumbled forward. "It'll be okay, I know it will be. We-we just need to be there for him."

Iwaizumi nodded, letting Kindaichi lead him to the hospital, the ringing continuing to scream in his ears, drowning out his sobs.

When they got there, Oikawa's parents were waiting by his bedside, their eyes burning red and cheeks stained with tears. They welcomed the two inside, pulling them into a hug. Iwaizumi didn't deserve their kindness.

"Do you have any idea what happened?" Kindaichi asked and Iwaizumi sunk into himself in shame.

"No," Oikawa's mother shook her head, more tears filling her eyes. Her husband put an arm around her, hugging her close. "He didn't leave a note or anything. We-we don't know why he would… would…" she shook her head, unable to finish the sentence.

Iwaizumi hated himself for feeling relieved there was no note. 

"When he got home from practice on Friday night he seemed upset and went straight to his room. We-we thought he'd just had a bad practice match or maybe another girl broke up with him. The next morning… We found him in his room, unresponsive.” Oikawa’s father continued to explain, his voice full of pain. “He took too many — he said it was an accident! I- _ we _ believed him. We believed him and refused to get him admitted and get him help. God this is our fault, we should have realized, we're awful parents."

"We couldn't have known!" Now it was his wife's turn to comfort him. "You know that we couldn't have known. Even the nurse said that it wasn't uncommon for people to accidentally overdose on pain medication. He said his knee had really been bothering him. We-we thought that was why he'd been so upset the night before. We did everything right when we found him that morning! We… We called the ambulance. We had his stomach pumped. We listened to him when he assured the nurse he was mentally sound, that it was all a misunderstanding. We were there for him, we were supportive. So why?  _ Why?" _ She let out a sob, turning to look at her son's broken body.

He lay still, bandages covering him, tubes and wires connecting him to a machine. Iwaizumi had never seen him so still. So quiet. Nothing but the rise and fall of his chest and the soft beeps of the machine. He wanted it to stop.

"Then today he said he was heading off to school. The police showed up at our door an hour later after he… after he jumped." Oikawa's father finished the story and the room fell silent.

Iwaizumi turned to look at his friend, his  _ best _ friend. He reached out, placing a hand over his own. They were so cold.

“I’ve seen him heartbroken over a girl before,” Kindaichi mumbled, his eyes looking far away. “But I’ve never seen him… I-I never thought he’d…”

“Well,” Oikawa’s mother began, her voice quiet, “if it was a girl… Then she must have meant a lot to him.”

Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa’s hand, grasping it tightly, refusing to let go. His head was bowed, shoulders shaking as tears slid down his cheeks. He should never have yelled like that, never have made Oikawa believe that he didn’t mean just as much to him. Yet he did, and here they were.

He stayed by Oikawa's side long after Kindaichi left. Long after Oikawa's parent's slipped into the hallway, their voices quiet as they discussed options with the doctor.

"I didn't mean it," he whispered, squeezing Oikawa's hand tightly. "I-I didn't mean it. I was just annoyed. I'm sorry.  _ I'm so sorry. _ " He let out a sob, hanging his head. "Of course I don't hate you. I could  _ never _ hate you. So please.  _ Please _ wake up. Please come back to me."

Oikawa never did like doing what Iwaizumi asked him to.

The machines began beeping, lights flashing as nurses rushed in, screaming codes at one another and ushering Iwaizumi away. 

"No!" He cried out, reaching for his friend. They'd always been together, since they were children. Even if Oikawa was a pain, he couldn't… "You can't leave me! You hear me, Shittykawa? You can't- we're supposed to go to Nationals together, remember? You can't leave now!"

Oikawa Tooru died three minutes later. 

Iwaizumi quit volleyball less than a week after that. He couldn't hit the ball right when it was set by anyone else. Not anymore. It felt wrong. 

He didn't look back into the gym after leaving. He always saw Oikawa standing in front of the net, determination in his eyes. He'd be gone by the time he blinked. So would the Oikawa following him in the hall. Sitting behind him in class. Hanging out in his room and watching conspiracy theories on his laptop.

He'd always been there, right beside Iwaizumi, like it or not. And now that he was gone Iwaizumi felt empty. He always turned, expecting to see him there. But the memory would only last for a fraction of a second before reality hit.

"You'll never see me again," Oikawa had told him. He'd failed to make it the truth, Iwaizumi realized with a bitter laugh.

"No," he shook his head, tears in his eyes. "Now I see you everywhere."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, also I apologize :)


End file.
